nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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