I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
