It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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