I accidentally had phone sex last night
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
