i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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