So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
