Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
