theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
