what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
