why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize