Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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