Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize