even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
