this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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