I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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