OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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