The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
