Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
