Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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