heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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