Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
