I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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