Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
