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Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
