He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
