can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
