Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
