You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
