Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize