There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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