I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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