when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
