Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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