i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
