I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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