So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
