batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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