She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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