Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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