I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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