4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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