I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize