Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
