I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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