I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
