What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
