I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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