Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
