Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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