I could make wine with my vomit
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
