Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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