I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize