I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
