so explain again why im purple
no
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
