Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
