Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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