Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
