And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
